Warning: This post
if is fueled by Pinot. (Um, not Pinto, which is which I originally wrote and could mean either the car or the bean. Either way, not a good blogging fuel).
Hey! What’s going on?
I’m writing this on
Thrusday Thursday night but, by the magic of WordPress, it will automatically post on Friday morning as if I awakened, fresh and breezy, in the crisp winter morn, to post my healthy thoughts and spur you all on to fitness heights untold.
So I have this habit of kinda being apologetic for not being skinnier than I am. I will say this: I am not large. I am solidly medium. I have boobs and a butt and, depending on how much pasta carbonara (groan, don’t ask. Happy Valentine’s Day) I’ve eaten, a smallishly poochy belly.
The thing is, if I wanted to be on the smaller side of medium (which is sorta like a lighter shade of brown), I could do something about it. I could stop with the wine on Thursdays and weekends. I could stop with the cupcakes. The manchego. The… everything. I could… do something different. But I don’t.
I either need to a) Get serious about being really restrictive with my diet or b) more accepting about where my body is now and c) embrace the choice I make. Either a or b.
But regardless of the choice, I think I have to stop apologizing for what I’m not.
Does that make sense? Is this the Pinot?
Here’s the thing. I know a good deal of womens. All of them are bright, educated, lovely women. Some of them are professionals and some of them are full-time moms, some of them are a schmearage of the two. Some of them are fit and some of them are working towards fitness.
Invariably, whether the woman in question is a mom or a business person, fit or almost-fit person they apologize for what they’re not. They’re sorry they’re not a 9-5 worker. Or not 24-7 mom. Or not super skinny. Or not curvy enough.
I do this, and if I do this (and I am perfectly medium. I am neither too large no r too small. I am so medium it is vanilla in its mediumness) then I wonder: who does not have to apologize for how they are?
Who does not have to apologize for living their life in a way that’s converse to how someone else lives their life?
Does that make sense, or is that Pinot logic?
If you choose x path and I see that and I choose an alternative path I’m saying, “Hello, I’ve seen the path you’ve chosen, I’ve found it wanting and I’ve selected the complete opposite.”
I think as humans we get a lot of comfort out of people choosing our paths (or at least validating the paths we’ve chosen and maybe those two are the same and maybe those are different) and if we’re on one path and we see someone on the other path we worry: Does this mean I am a crazy person on this path? Or does this mean I am a weak person on this path? If I were better/smarter/harder working/self-disciplined I would be on that OTHER path?
The upshot is:
I have no idea. But you have chosen, in your infinite wisdom, for better or for worse, to be on the
bath path YOU are on now. If you don’t like it, choose something different. And if you choose not to choose something different, then don’t apologize for it. Own it because you chose it.
This may be the Pinot talking, but this post feels profound enough (OMG, who remembers the band Enuf Z Nuff? A social media person would never let them get away with that name. Also they have a website?) to post… Thursday night. Ima do it. Special thanks to my Fitness Bestie for calling me out on apologizing for myself.