you’re probably moaning and wiping some pie crumbs off of your chin.

Maybe you’re blinking and staring around blearily, wondering, “How did I pass out with my head in the fridge?”

Or maybe you’re wondering when you unzipped your pants to pass out on the couch.

Or maybe none of this has ever happened to you.  Maybe you have already done your Christmas shopping by now. 😉

Fitties, we need to talk about strength training.

I was thinking to myself yesterday, right before I began to tuck into the first in a series of meals, that I have a few Fittie friends who are well on their way to looking super Fittie but….

time passes. Ardor cools (little quote from Intolerable Cruelty, there. Funny movie, btw).

Anyway, time passes, and what was working…. ain’t working so well anymore. The 1-2 pounds you were losing per week is now more like… 1/2 a pound here or there. Or point-something pounds. A little disappointing, no?

I mean, as you get close to your goal weight, the poundage will come off slowwwwly. So slowly. Like… no, I won’t tell you how long it has taken me, I don’t want anyone to be discouraged. My body is different. I come from peasant stock, with wide feet and big thighs and hips made to shoot babies out like it ain’t no thang while we work the fields. Peasant stock is made to hold onto fat like a sonuvabitch. You are different. Noble stock. Noble stock is made to lose fat so one’s corsets don’t pinch.


If you have a ways to go until you get close to your goal weight, the pounds should come off pretty easily if you’re sticking to the ol’ eating plan (obviously, if you are already doing this and it’s not working, you may wanna go have a doctor thump around on your thyroid and check the lady hormones to see if that could be a culprit).

How about also…. verifying you are drinking enough water? And I don’t mean the 8 glasses recommended by every lady mag out there. I was doing that and gettin’ NO LOVE.

For some reason, all of my uberfit friends decided to post on Facebook on the same day about drinking 1/2 your body weight in ounces of water (so if you weigh 120 pounds, which I do not, drink 60 ounces). Message received, universe. So I did and magical things happened. Yes, I pee a lot more. But I weigh a lot less.

As I wrote that, I just hopped up to grab a nice big bottle of water. DRINK people!  CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG!

Then, how about verifying that you haven’t let fake shit creep into your diet.  I know, it’s the holidays and you want to have treats but not gain weight so maybe you have some Starbucks mochas with Splenda. Or sugar-free Coffeemate that tastes like gingerbread.

Or whatever. The point is, look, just eat the regular dessert already. Those chemicals are f-ing up your metabolism and hormones like no one’s business. Trust me. Please. Put down the fake shit. Eat the real shit. Don’t eat too much of the real shit.  I swear to you by all that I hold holy, those chemical sugars are doing you no favors. PLEASE believe me. Please? PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE!?

Then pick up a set of weights. This is the point of this post really. Lift weights. Or do strength exercises with your own body weight. Better yet, do both. Weight training is SO important for how your body will look. Your diet will determine your weight, but strength training will determine the composition of your body.

I am a cardio JUNKIE and I run around in a frenzy all the time. So I know it’s easy for the weight training to get crowded out of your workout schedule. It happens. But put it back in. Your bones need the weight bearing exercise. Your muscles need to be built up so your metabolism keeps purring like a Ferrari (or, if it purrs more like a 1991 Hyundai to begin with, weight training will get you to Ferrari status).

And the best thing? You can do it on a fairly full stomach and not jostle things around too much. 😉 Get to it Fitties! Pump that iron! So you can look like this Fitty:

Hope you had a great holiday! I may never eat again. Er, at least, never again after I’ve had breakfast. Most important meal and all that. 😉