Hey bloggy friends! It’s monday and I want to roll around in a mountain of sugar and just absorb it with my pores and possibly let a bit fall into my lolling mouth.

Um, yes, perhaps this is hormonally related, back off.

If there is anything worse than a Monday and a PMS-week, it’s a Monday of a PMS-week right around bathing suit season. This may be an overshare, sorry.

Anyway, don’t forget that tonight at 10 pm EST is your LAST CHANCE to enter Friday’s giveway! Hopefully the chocolate chip cookie dough larabars will actually make it out of my house.  Hopefully I can roll myself away from the sugar long enough to mail this stuff out.

Actually, I do have some tips for beating these sorts of beastly sugar craving days.  I am seriously 1 minute away from grabbing my keys and hitting the ice cream shop. Which brings me to tip 1:

1. Don’t keep sugar in your house.

I know.  Not having 3 flavors of ice cream in your freezer at all times is just plain UNAMERICAN.  Perhaps that is why obesity is so synonymous with being American these days.  If you don’t buy it, when you are being whipsawed by satanic sugar cravings, you can’t open your freezer and help yourself.  Your kids don’t need it.  Your husband doesn’t need it.  Your guests don’t need it.  We don’t need to eat crap food.  Really, we don’t.  It’s not doing anyone any favors.  If your husband insists that he needs sugar, he can buy a candy bar at the vending machine at work.  He’ll be fine — men don’t form the same emotional bonds with treats that women do.

2.  Don’t bring cash if you leave the house.

I suppose I could use my debit card at the local ice cream shop (I think they accept debit?) but the chances are slim that I’ll actually drive myself over there and put a few bucks on my debit card.  Sure, it’s possible, but it’s less likely than if I had $5 burning a hole in my wallet.

3.  Avoid temptation.

I probably shouldn’t go driving by the ice cream shop to investigate what today’s flavor is.  I will avoid driving by sugar vendors.  If I have to drive by a place with sugary temptations, I won’t stop in to see the specials.  I won’t pop in to use the restroom or get an ice water.  Nothing to see, eyes straight ahead.

4.  Go do something else.

Preferably something where eating is incompatible.  Go for a walk — a long one.  Get your nails done.  Go get your car washed and vacuum out the insides yourself.  That takes forever.  Workout.  Take a nap.  Chew gum.  Pluck your eyebrows.  Dye your hair.  Whiten your teeth.  Shave your legs.

5.  Have a treat.

Plan to incorporate treats into your diet when you want them, not when you need them.  But we want to be in control of our food choices, we don’t want them to be in control of us.  I get concerned when I think, “OMG if I don’t have chocolate right now I’m going to rip someone’s head off.”  If you replace “chocolate” with the word cigarette or alcohol, how does that sentence sound?  Like an addiction?  No good.  However, “Mm, I think I’ll have some chocolate some time this week.”  Better, right?  Calm.  Not in a frenzy.  Not controlled by food.  That’s our goal.

What’s your way of beating a sugar craving?