Other possible titles:

– Live to be 100 muffins (chocolate and red wine in the house, yo!)

– “I can’t believe it’s not buttermilk” muffins (explanation to follow)

– Elizabeth, here’s the number to the Betty Ford clinic (HEY! The alcohol evaporates in the heat!)

– Chocolate Merlot Cakes

Feel free to vote on your favorite title in the comments below.  Seriously. I’m sharing chocolate gold with you. GIMMIE COMMENTS PEOPLE.  Even if it’s to schedule an intervention.  That’s fine.  I’ll bring the dessert.

I have several favorite foodie fitness bloggers.  They rotate in the number 1 spot according to my whims (and how many recipes they post featuring wine or peanut butter).  Jenna over at Eat, Live, Run is just the cutest.  I might (MIGHT) hate her a bit for being a funny writer, a talented cheftress (it is TOO a word) and someone picked to live in a house in wine country and blog for a winery.  That last part sounded like the intro to like the BEST Real World ever, right?  7 strangers picked to live in wine country…

What?  Oh.  Muffins.  Sorry.

Anyway, I MIGHT hate her if I were petty and if she didn’t enrich my life with her awesome recipes.  But I’m NOT petty (well, sorta not) and she DOES enrich my life, therefore, I do not hate her but in fact LOVE her and the fact that she believes ’tis better to eat dessert and have to occasionally hold your breath in your jeans rather than eat according to ridiculous strictures and have hollow little cheeks (I refer here to facial cheeks and the southernly located cheeks).

Too many parenthesis.  Should I resort to footnotes?

So I have a whole list of Jenna recipes to make.  Her Double Chocolate Muffins are tied for my top 10 recipes I must make.  Conveniently, I have chocolate burning a hole in my cupboard.  Inconveniently, her recipe calls for plain chocolate (I have Lindt Chili chocolate) and buttermilk.  Now, I know how to make buttermilk (a tbsp of vinegar in milk for those of you playing along at home) but I didn’t really wanna.

Cuz when I eat my Chili chocolate, I like to drink a full bodied red wine.  And it JUST so happens I have a nice fat bottle of Mondavi Merlot that I keep for rainy cooking or chocolate days.  So I halved Jenna’s OG recipe (because 5 chocolate muffins in a house where I’m the only chocolate lover is plenty, thank you) and subbed in chili chocolate and wine for her semisweet chocolate and buttermilk (hence the “I can’t believe it’s not buttermilk reference”)

AGH. Parenthesis!

I followed everything else Jenna did exactly.  Except for the part where she used a separate bowl… and a mixer… okay here’s the ghetto way to do it:

Ingredients to make 5 gigantor muffins:

3.5 oz Lindt Chili Chocolate plus half an ounce of other chocolate to make it an even 4 ounces (I used Lindt 99%, but you can use semisweet chocolate chips)

1/4 cup semi sweet chocolate chips, for sprinkling

1/4 cup semi sweet chocolate chips, for sampling (not optional!)

5.5 tablespoons sugar

3/4 cup flour

3/4 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp salt

5 tbsps butter

3/4 cup full bodied wine (Merlot, Cab, Zin are standards, but I’m thinking maybe a peppery Rioja, Malbec or Carmenere might be a kick!)

1 egg, whisked

Preheat oven to 375 degrees

Melt butter and the 4 ounces of Lindt chocolate over low heat. Don’t rush it or you’ll burn the biscuits.

Once that’s melted, remove from heat and stir in the sugar, salt and baking soda.  Make sure everything blends well, you don’t want chunks of baking soda in your muffins!

Gently (like you’re petting soft little baby chicks) stir in the flour.  Yes, this is all in one pan.  Who needs extra dishes?

The mixture should be cool now that you’ve added the flour, so add the whisked egg.  Do not add the egg to a hot mixture or you’ll get chocolate scrambled egg.  Intriguing idea, but that’s a different recipe.

Then add the red wine.  Keep stirring gently. At first you’ll think “AH CRAP! TOO MUCH LIQUID!”   Keep going, it will allllll absorb.

Ta da! You’ll know when it’s ready. It will look like chocolate batter.  Pour into greased muffin pans or those paper cups.  Then evenly divide your remaining 1/4 cup of chocolate chips among the muffins.  Make it even-Steven cuz you don’t want someone to be shorted on a chip!

In the oven they go for 20 minutes.  Finish off the rest of your “sampling” chocolate chips.

Now, Jenna’s muffins sound like a wonderful breakfast muffin OR dessert muffin.  My muffins… wellll…. that’s up to you. Is it okay to drink red wine for breakfast?  I won’t judge.  But these wouldn’t be a bad finish to a romantic dinner, perhaps garnished with a strawberry of the chocolate-covered persuasion?

If you try this, please let me know!